"I suppose the old man thinks that one managing director's child in the royal family is enough," Abe suggested.
"Well," Morris said, "looking at him from the King's standpoint, it will save the young feller's mother a lot of anxiety to know that he is safe on board an English battle-ship every night instead of running around the streets of a country where everybody, up to and including the President himself, is the young feller's social inferior."
"And also, you can't blame the old man if he ain't taking no risks when the young feller gets home and his mother asks him did he have a good time, that two Right Honorable General Practitioners in Waiting would got to work over her for an hour or so bringing her out of one swoon after another as the result of her son saying, 'I'll say I did,'" Abe observed.
"Still, at the same time, Abe," Morris said, "it is going to be a wonderful opportunity for the young feller, even if he gets home again, he would occasionally use the words, 'You've said it,' instead of 'Quite so.'"
"But that ain't the idea in the King's sending him over here, Mawruss," Abe said. "The intention is that it is a wonderful opportunity for the American people to see how a king looks and at the same time not have it come off on your gloves. In other words, Mawruss, it's as a favor to us that the young feller is coming over here, and the chances is that his personal feelings in the matter is very much the same as yours or mine would be if we was about to make Sarahcuse, Rochester, Buffalo, Detroit, and Chicago with a line of popular-price garments. We would do it in the course of making a living and not for the education of the thing."
"Then my advice to the young feller and his father is that he should stay home in these times when the building trade is looking up so, Abe, and help out with the corner-stone laying," Morris said, "and give the people of this country a real treat by sending over Lord George or Marshall Field Haig, which while this here King, junior, is a decent, respectable young feller and his father is also a gentleman that nobody could say a word against no matter if it does cost the English people sixpence in the pound of the ten shillings in the pound which they've got to pay income tax in order that the English royal family should continue to live in the style to which it has become accustomed during the past five hundred years, Abe, still, at the same time, if I could be standing on the curb watching Lord George or this here Haig driving by, it would give me a real thrill to think that I am at last looking at the face of a man who for over four years has been working night and day to put over the biggest thing that has ever been put over in the history of the world, y'understand; whereas, what for a thrill would I get from looking at the face of a man who, putting it big, has been laying as many corner-stones as all the bricklayers' unions in the American Federation of Labor and has been presiding at as many banquets as this here Irving J. Cobb and Gustave Thomas combined?"
"At that, there will be a whole lot of ambulance calls for people who has fainted away in the crowds that will collect to see the King, junior, drive up Fifth Avenue, Mawruss," Abe said.
"I know there will," Morris said; "and if it rested with me, Abe, I wouldn't spend so much as two cents for mathematic spirits of ammonia to bring them to, neither, because them crowds in America is helping along a European idea which we sent across several million American soldiers to wipe out. Them American crowds will be encouraging European kings to believe that even in America we still think it is all right for the ordinary people of Europe to sacrifice their lives and their property, in order that them corner-stone layers shall cop out the credit."
"As a matter of fact, Mawruss," Abe said, "Mr. Wilson invited the young feller to visit America."
"Yow, President Wilson invited him!" Morris exclaimed. "After the experience President Wilson had in Paris staying with the Murats he must have a pretty good idea what it means to be eaten out of house and home by the people that tags along with a king or a president, which I bet yer the most that Mr. Wilson said when he was visiting England last Christmas was that he told the King, senior, if he was ever in Washington to be sure and look him up, or to not to fail to let him know if he was ever in Washington, or that the latch-string was always out at the White House, or any one of the hundreds of things that ordinarily the most inhospitable person in the world is perfectly safe in saying without any one taking him up on it."