Maintaining Health (Formerly Health and Efficiency)

by Rasmus Larssen Alsaker

It does not take long for children to learn how to get their way, and if they can do it by being disagreeable, you may be sure that they will develop the worst side of their nature. Let the child understand that being disagreeable buys nothing, and there will soon be an end of it. Children who are well and well cared for are happy. They cause their elders almost no trouble. To lavish an excessive amount of care on a baby may be agreeable to the mother at first, but it is different when it comes to caring for an ill-tempered, spoiled child of eight or nine years.

Many crimes are committed in the name of love. Many babies are killed by love. Unless love is tempered by understanding it is as lethal as poison. Many parents think they are showing love when they indulge their children, but instead they are putting them onto the road that leads to physical and mental decay. True love is helpful, kind and patient. The spurious kind is noisy, demonstrative and impatient.

Do what is necessary for children, but do not allow them to cause unnecessary work. What they can do for themselves they should do. They can be taught to be helpful very early. They should be taught to be neat and tidy. They should learn to dress themselves and how to keep their rooms and personal effects in good order early in life, no matter how many servants there may be. These little things are reflected in their later lives. They help to form the individual's character. It is what we do that largely make us what we are, and every little act and every thought has a little influence in shaping our lives. An orderly body helps to make an orderly mind and vice versa.

Many of the rich children are unfortunate indeed. Some times poor parents have so many children that each one gets scant attention, but the children of many of the rich get no parental attention. The parents are too busy accumulating or preserving a fortune and climbing a social ladder to bother with their children. Their raising is delegated to servants. At times the little ones are put on display for a few minutes and then the parents are as proud of them as they are of the expensive paintings that adorn the walls or the blooded dogs and horses in kennels and stables. No amount of paid service can compensate for the lack of parental love.

The ideal today, especially for female children, seems to be to make ornaments of them, to train them to be useless. Girls, as well as boys, should be taught to be useful. They should be taught that those who do not labor are parasites. If some do not work, others have to work too hard. The story is told of Mark Twain that he dined with an English nobleman who boasted that he was an earl and did not labor. "In our country," said Mark Twain, "we do not call people of your class earls; we call them hoboes."

It does not matter how wealthy parents are, they should teach their children how to earn a living, and they should instill into them the ideal of service, for a life of idleness is a failure. The shirkers and wasters are not happy. The greatest contentment in life comes from the performance of good work. Ecstatic love and riotous pleasure can not last. Work with love and pleasure is good. But love and pleasure without work are corroding.

Children who are waited upon much become selfish. They soon become grafters, expecting and taking everything and giving nothing. This is immoral, for life is a matter of compensation, and consists in giving as well as in taking. Children should be taught consideration for others, and should not be allowed to order the servants around; not that it harms the servants, but it has a bad effect on the children.

Because the child's period of development is so long, it is important to have a proper adjustment in the home between parents and the children. Lack of adjustment wears out the parents, especially the mother, and gives false impressions to the young people. To prevent friction and get good results, children should be taught obedience. Obedience is one of the stepping stones to ability to command.

In those homes where the words of the parents are law there is but little friction. Obedience should be taught from the very start. As soon as the child realizes that the parents mean what they say and that it is useless to fret and complain about a command, that is the end of the matter. How different it is with disobedient children! The parents have to tell them what to do several times and then the bidding often remains undone.

Begin to teach obedience and promptness as soon as the children understand, for it is more difficult later. The older the children the harder it is. Children know so little and are so conceited that they do not realize that because of lack of experience, observation and reflection they can not safely guide themselves at all times. When they are allowed to act so that they are a nuisance to others and harmful to themselves, they do not give up this license with good grace. There are times to be firm and then firmness should be used. It is necessary for the parents to cooperate.