Maintaining Health (Formerly Health and Efficiency)

by Rasmus Larssen Alsaker

Various parents have different ways of correcting their children, and it is not difficult to make them realize that obedience is a part of the plan of early life. To illustrate: If the children are called for a meal, they should come promptly. If there is a tendency to lag, tell them that if they do not come when called they will get nothing to eat until next mealtime, and act accordingly. This is no cruelty, for no one is harmed by missing a meal. It generally proves very effective.

At the table, serve the children what your experience has told you they can take with benefit, without saying anything about it. If they ask for anything else, give it if you think proper. If not, say no. If they start to beg and whine, tell them that such conduct will result in their being sent away from the table, and if they still continue, do as you have said, and let there be no weakening. This may cause a few very disagreeable experiences at first, but it is much better to have a few of them and be through, than to continue year after year to have such trouble. Some children can eat everything with apparent impunity and their parents usually pay no attention to what they eat. But there are others who become ill if they are improperly fed. Children who are often feverish and take all the diseases peculiar to the young, are maltreated. They are not properly fed. Those who are prone to convulsions must be fed with great care, or there is danger of their becoming epileptics. Firmness in such cases generally means the difference between health and disease or even death.

By all means be firm in such matters. Indulging the children to excess is invariably harmful. When your children become ill and die, you can truly say, "Behold my handiwork."

In the same way teach the children to do promptly whatever they are told to do. If they are told to go to bed, it should be done without delay or protest. All the little duties that fall to their lot should likewise be accomplished promptly. However, the parents should be reasonable and they should avoid bombarding their children with commands to do or not to do a thousand and one things that do not matter at all. Let the children alone except when it is really necessary to direct them.

Unfortunately, most of the parents are blind to their own faults, but see very clearly those of others. The mistakes they make in their own families open their eyes to those of others, and then they are often very impatient. I know one gentleman who has excellent knowledge of the proper training of the young, but as a parent he is a total failure. He is so explosive and lacking in patience and firmness, perhaps also in love, that his knowledge has not helped him. It is not what we know, but what we apply, that makes or mars.

Obedience reduces friction and trains the children into habits of efficiency. It is not only valuable in preserving the health of the parents, but in increasing the child's earning capacity when the time comes to labor in earnest.

Plato said that democracies are governed as well as they deserve to be. Likewise, parents get as much obedience, respect, affection and love as they deserve, and the three latter are largely dependent upon the former. It would be difficult to overemphasize the importance of obedience.

In nature we find that the animals teach their young how to live independently as soon as they have the strength to care for themselves. This is what parents should teach their children. This may cause the mother pain, for many mothers like to keep their children helpless, dependent and away from contact with the world as long as possible. Wise mothers do not handicap their children thus. The best parents are those who teach their children early how to make their own way.

Doubtless the greatest happiness is to be found in a congenial family, where the parents understand and love each other and their children. Those parents who are so busy that they lack the time to become acquainted with their infants and keep up this intimacy, are losing a part of life that neither money nor social position can give them. Many wait until too late to get on intimate terms with their children. When young, the children are naturally loving and then the beautiful ties which neither time nor misfortune can sunder are formed. When the children are grown it is too late to establish such a relation. Then they look at their parents with as critical eyes as they use toward other people, and though they may become very good friends, the tender love is lacking. Love between man and woman is unstable, but the beautiful love that springs from companionship of children and parents lasts until the end.

While some mothers neglect their children, many become too absorbed in them. The children become all of the mother's life. As the young people become older, their horizon naturally widens. During infancy the parents can fill the child's whole life, but soon other interests crave attention. There is always a tragedy in store for the mother who refuses to see that her children, as they grow older, will demand the human experience necessary for individual growth and development. If the mother has no other interest than her children she will one day be left with a heart as empty as the home from which the children are gone. There are so many interesting things in this world, and every mother should have her hobby. She should have at least one hour each day sacred to herself, in which she can relax and cultivate the mind. This will help to fill the coming years, which too often prove barren. Loving parents get all the reward they should expect from the beautiful intimacy that exists between them and their growing children. So-called ungrateful children have incompetent parents. Parents have no right to demand gratitude. They do no more for their children than was done for themselves in the morning of their lives. The right kind of parents never want for rewards. They are repaid every day so long as they live. Children grow under the care of their parents, but the parents also grow and expand in understanding, sympathy and love through association with their children.