Whilst I was thus ruminating with myself, we had spread all our Canvas, the wind blowing fresh, we spoon’d away before it like an arrow out of a bow. Coming into the Ocean, I found my self possest with a new Spirit, and if there was ever any such thing as transmigration of Souls, certainly it was at that time, some new drown’d Sea-mans Soul hovering on the Deep, took up its habitation in my body, entring in at my mouth as I gap’d for breath, which the swiftness of the Ships sailing, and tossing of the Waves together, had almost totally deprived me of. I was so nimble and so active, that if I saw any halling Sheets aft, or hoising of Sail, would be sure to be with him; which our Master taking special notice of, encouraged me therein, so far that venturing first into the tops, I afterwards upon it grew so bold, that when occasion required, I often helpt to furl a Sail, but being not my Crafts-Master, being more bold than skilful, one day I was in the Main-top, and getting astride the Yard-arm, (to make my self the better acquainted with it) I dropt off into the Sea, and had we not been becalmed, I had been drowned irrecoverably. Throwing me out a Rope, I got aboard, no more concerned with the danger I escaped from, than if I had been that while asleep in a Cabbin. My Master lookt on this accident as a certain Omen of my being a Sea-man, and thereupon made me his Cabbin-boy promising me when I had served him a time according to custom, he would advance me according to my deligence and fidelity, as for my ingenuity he questioned not.
We had not been above a Month at Sea, but by imploying all the leasure time I had among my Comrades, I had gained so intimate acquaintance, and so perfect a knowledge of them, that I shall endeavour to give you a Character of them; there was nineteen of them in all, besides my Mistress, whose late Adventures I have given you an account of; and therefore shall pass her by and only tell you what the rest were, but first, what their Professions are.
CHAP. XI.
An account and Character of such who went with me in our Voyage to a Plantation, viz.
One Broken Tradesman, 2 Jilts, 1 Pretended poor Captain. 1 Counterfeit Libertine Minister. 1 Soldier of Fortune. 1 New Exchange Girl, 2 Button-makers. 1 Orange-Wench. 3 Crackt Maid-servants. 1 Stockin-Mender. 4 Common Prostitutes. One whereof was a large Folio, two of them in Octavo, and one in decimo sexto, all loose in Sheets, of the first Edition imprinted at London. I might otherwise name the first a Ship of the first Rate, an unwieldy bulky thing, which would require more men than a Kingdom can well spare to Man her, old and leaky too, and must be pumpt every hour to keep her above water. The other next two had been tight Friggots, and excellent Sailers; but length of time had so decayed their Hulks, that they were unfit for any thing but Fire ships; the last was a pretty Pinance, but damag’d much in her Rigging, and would serve for an excellent Pikeroon still, having been from her Cradle taught the Art of Land-Piracy. But to begin first with my
Broken Tradesman.
His Father lived in Excester in very good fashion, being one of the principal of the City; and though he had a very good Trade of his own, yet he thought it very incompleat to that of London, and thither must his Son be sent. A Confectioner for his Master was provided him; but he had not been with him ten weeks before the Confectioner found that he was half undone by this sweet tootht Gutling; nay he ingenuously confest to me that his Pockets were continually cram’d with all sorts of Sweat Meats, as Pomecitron, Orange and Lemmon Pill, Comfits of all sorts, or what ever Confections, as were dryed; and his reason was for so doing, lest being sent on an errand he should lose any time in the indulging his Palate: he did not so much as go to Bed unfurnisht, sleeping with some sweet thing or other in his Mouth, that he might dream of the rest. His Master concluding that he should be absolutely undone if he kept him much longer, sent for his Father, who coming up removed him from thence, and placed him with a Vintner, knowing experimentally that those that are sweet tootht, are seldom Drunkards. But the Gentleman could not make so much haste to go out of town, as his Son did to be drunk; in seven days that he was in this Tavern, he was but five hours perfectly sober. It was well he made so much haste to show his Inclination that he might not put his aged Father to the expence and trouble of another journey. His Father seeing he could devour trade so fast, and lest some such should swallow him up at last, resolved to put him to one he could not eat, (yet one, too many have worn Thread-bare) a Salesman; he seemed diligent enough till his Father was gone out of Town, and then wanting what the Indulgence of a Father continually bestowed upon him, he one morning early put on a very handsome Suit that fitted him, and taking along a very good Bruxels Chamblet Cloak (which he sold) away he marcht into the Countrey, committing many petit larcenies by the way, resolving (if it should fall to his chance) to die as near his friends as he could. At Huntington he was apprehended for stealing a Silver Tumbler, but being known by some Relations he had in the Town, the business was husht up, and he sent home. His Father admired to see his Son return so soon after him, askt him the reason thereof, who craftily replyed, he could not live so far from his Parents. Though the old man was troubled that his Son should disappoint his expectations, yet he could not but shew himself a Dotard in acknowledging his Sons natural affection therein.
At last it was concluded on, that he should follow his Fathers Trade of Mercery, which my young man did, till his Fathers death, which was about two years after, but how faithfully, I must leave to those Parents to consider, who have brought their Children to shameful ends, and thereby have blemisht the spotless Reputation of their Ancient Families, by not endeavouring to hinder the excursions of such debaucheries, as proceed from their known vicious constitutions. His Father leaving him his House, Shop and Goods, he so apparel’d himself, and spent so largely, as in the excess neither had the conquest. These, and his Extravagant Courtship made him the whole Town-talk. He had not hours enough in eight days to visit his Mistresses in a whole week, although he should address himself to one every hour of the day. His Love was so general, that he would have enjoy’d them all, but the Law bounding his boundless desires to give himself that satisfaction, he is most prone unto, he was forc’d to elect one; it was strange he could not choose one honest Woman out of so many; for she matcht his Cock, she proving more inclinable to Venery, then he to any other Vice. As he reacht to the possession of all or none, so none at all could reach her full satisfaction.
The Marriage was but just consummated, and they hardly warm in each others embraces, when he turned his poor Mother out of doors, bidding her go live elsewhere upon her Thirds, for they would have no Overseers in their house, nor such who should continually disturb their quiet with the tedious Lectures of Crab-tree morality. The Candle is now lighted at both ends, if he spent liberally with friends abroad, she had those at home to spend with and upon; and that she might not come short of him; if she had heard he spent a Crown, she would double it in her expence. For one half year two Taylors had nothing else to do, but to make them new Garments; and when they and their Friends were together in a Tavern, all the Drawers in the house were little enough to tend them; so inconsiderately generous, that a Poetaster who could never arrive at the hight of a Ballad, presenting him with a hobbling non-sensical Epithalamium, he caused my ragged Rimer uncase immediately, and cloath’d him so, that he lookt rather like a gawdy Actor, than a Poet, bestowing over and above five pieces, then in his Drunkenness he might the more freely trumpet out his bounty. By these courses his Shop was altogether neglected, and few Commodities vended, but what his Wifes Paramours took upon an everlasting credit. Growing now weary of Excester, and such vulgar Countrey delights, (as he was pleased to call them) he furnisht his Pockets with store of Money (having converted a round sum of Silver into Gold), away he rode for London; where being come, he omitted not any time which he might imploy either in places of pleasure or pastime. And being tired here too with the variety of his delights; and finding withal not above twenty pieces left, he mounts his Horse with an intention homewards but by the way, having some business, (as a Wench to see or so) at Malborough on the Downs, he was met with, and robb’d, and with a cut or two (for he resisted) he made a shift to get to the Town. He had behaved himself so loudly ill, that the report came thither, and those that would in his Fathers life time have trusted him with 500l. would not now trust him with so many farthings; so that he was forc’d to sell his Horse, and go home on foot.
His Wife in the mean time had not been idle in her expences, rioting in that shameful manner, that the whole Town cryed out shame on her: those deserved reproaches they daily threw upon her, made her resolve to lay hold on the opportunity of her Husbands absence and secure what she could to her own peculiar use, and quit the Town; to that intent she consulted with her chiefest favourite, (and by the way take notice there is no Whore so notoriously common, but she keeps one whom she loves above all others, that shall take the freedom to beat her, abuse her, strip her sometimes when his Pimp-ship is in the humour, and will infallibly spend what ’ere she gets if she intends to keep her Flesh and Bones from being under the Chirurgeons hands) I say consulting him, he advised by all means to take some speedy course for her self-preservation, it is an instinct infused into the natures of irrationals; and therefore certainly man cannot be without. He needed not use any arguments to perswade her to that she was already resolved to put in execution; and therefore she only desired him to know how she should secure the Goods in the Shop. Let that alone to me, said he, I will take that charge upon me; and that he might charm her into a consent, they talkt that in private, which the colour of their Faces publickly discovered.