As to their Trade, they have, of late Years, lost some of the most advantageous Parts of it to the Cormorants, which perhaps might be brought about by several that were Cormorants by Birth, who found Means of working themselves into the Management of their publick Affairs. They seem to endeavour all they can, (for what Policy I know not) to encourage the young Cacklogallinian Nobility and Gentry, in a Contempt of Religion, and in all Debauchery, perhaps to render them supine and thoughtless; and bringing them up without Principle, they may be fit Tools to work the enslaving their Country.
They are extremely severe in their military Discipline: A Soldier, for a trifling Fault, shall have all the Feathers stripp'd off his Back, and a corroding Plaister clapp'd on, which will eat to the Bones in a small Space of Time. For a capital Crime, every one in the Regiment is ordered to peck him as he's ty'd to a Post, till he dies. I have seen one who was condemn'd to this Death have Part of his Entrails torn out of his Side in a few Pecks.
Whoever speaks against the Ministry, is purged or vomited so severely, that he sometimes dies. Even Want of Complaisance to any menial Servant of a Minister, is esteem'd an Affront to his Master, and punish'd by a Year's Imprisonment; but a Slight put on any of the Squabbaws, is so heinous, that the Offender is punish'd, as for the highest Scandal. Sometimes it has happened, that Persons Question'd and Convicted for Fraud, Bribery, or other Crimes, by some Turn of Fortune having better'd their Circumstances, have afterwards been raised to Posts of Honour and Trust, and afterwards growing more wealthy, have been look'd upon with the same Esteem as the most worthy. I've known a Sharper, who could neither write nor read, made a Battano, in English, a Judge Advocate; and what rais'd him was his Dexterity at Gestaro, which is like the Play our School-boys divert themselves with, call'd Hussle-cap.
Tho' they have a Standing Army, yet the Cacklogallinians are all inlisted, and obliged to serve (in case of an Invasion) without Pay. They have no fortify'd Places, they being look'd upon as a Refuge for Malecontents, except only the imperial Palace. The Reader may wonder how any Place can be fortified against those who can fly over the highest Walls; I must therefore inform him, that their strong Holds have all the open Places cover'd with Canvass stretch'd from Side to Side; upon which is strew'd an Herb so venemous, that, in six Hours after it has been expos'd to the Sun, it emits so pestiferous a Stench, that no Fowl can approach it by many Yards, but what will fall dead; and this Stench, by the Effluvia mounting, is no way offensive to those below. This is the Reason their Sieges are rather Blockades, and no fortify'd Town was ever taken but by starving. For tho' I have said, the Cacklogallinians have no such, yet their Neighbours have this Canvass, and Plenty of the Herb in and about most of their Towns, and can, in Twenty four Hours, put them in a Posture of Defence.
Upon the Decease of any Party, his Estate goes to the eldest of his Children, whether Male or Female; for the others, the Cocks are put into the Army, or to Trades; the Hens are married to the next Relations, who are obliged to take them, or allow them a Pension for Life, according to their Quality. Polygamy is forbid, tho' universally practised among the better Sort. There were publick Colleges erected for the Education and Provision of poor Chickens; but as there is a strong Party, which takes them to be of ill Consequence; they are discountenanc'd so much, that it is thought they must fall some time or other.
[The Customs, Manners, Dress, and Diversions of the Cacklogallinians.]
THE Cacklogallinians value themselves on being a polite Nation; and indeed those amongst them who have travell'd, are very complaisant, full of their Professions of Friendship, and Offers of Service, tho' it's the first time they ever set Eyes on the Party to whom they make them; but if he takes this for any more than the Effects of good Breeding, and reminds a Courtier of his Promise, he is look'd upon as one who wants Education, and treated as a Peasant.
They are not at all sociable, tho' they frequently visit each other, which is with much Ceremony amongst the better Sort; for he who makes the Visit, sends before him a Servant to give Notice, that he intends to do himself the Honour to kiss the Spur of the Master of the House. If he is, or will be at home, Answer is made, that he returns Thanks for the Honour intended him, which he will expect with Impatience. When the Visiter arrives, Notice is given to the Family by one of his Servants, who strikes a brass Pan (hung at the Doors of all Persons of Distinction) so long, and with such Violence, that were it in England, he'd be indicted for a common Disturber. After this Peal, the Door is opened, and the Visiter received according to his Quality, either at the Street Door, Parlour Door, or in the Hall. He's led in, and seated on a Carpet, enquires after the Welfare of the Family, after which he takes Notice of the Weather, and then with great Ceremony takes his Leave, conducted as he was received.
None visit the Minister of State, neither is there any thing like the English Hospitality seen in the Visits of private Persons; for they never present you any Refreshment, not even that of cold Water, except at a formal Invitation, or a Wedding. At the latter they are very profuse. When a young Couple is married, for a Week they are never seen asunder; but after that, it is look'd upon indecent to be seen with a Wife in any publick Company; and one would think they married to be reveng'd on each other for some former Injuries; for the Wife takes Care to shew her Contempt of her Husband, and he his Aversion to his Wife. They are great Admirers of Puppet-shews and other Spectacles, and will let their Families at Home want Necessaries, rather than not be seen at the Booth. What they most delight in is bloody Spectacles. There are poor Cacklogallinians, who fight on Stages for Money; if they cut one another to Pieces, the Spectators go away highly satisfied; but if their Art prevents their shedding much Blood, the Combatants are poorly rewarded, and look'd upon as a Couple of Cheats or Cowards.
A Goat had (as Tradition says) done formerly great Damage to the Corn of Danafalio, a Saint in great Veneration amongst them, who lived about Twelve Hundred Years ago; for which Reason, every Family, on a certain Day, diverts it self by breaking the Legs and Ribs of a Goat, and flaying it alive.