The Point of View.—Overheard in infants playground. Little Girl: "It's my grannie's funeral to-day. I've got threepence halfpenny and a packet of sweets already."
A Trifle Mixed.—Poor Johnny had been on an errand for his mother and was consequently late for school. His mother, in order to coax him, prepared to write a note to his teacher explaining his lateness. The look on Johnny's face made the mother somewhat dubious about Johnny's going to school, and this is how the note read: "Dear Sir,—Please excuse Johnny for being late, and kindly let me know if he hasn't been."
She was Sorry.—A boy was absent from school. The teacher sent to his home to ask the reason. The answer came back that he was playing truant—sent by the mother. The next day the master made inquiries, and found that the mother had sent this message because she did not wish the boy's father, who was at home when the messenger arrived, to know that she had kept him at home. During this time the boy himself was hidden in a cupboard. A few weeks after a similar occurrence happened, and a like answer was sent to the master by the mother. The next day the boy appeared with the following note: "Sir,—Sorry my boy was away yesterday, but he had to go to the hospital and was kept, and I never sent him yesterday, and I was sorry to tell a lye like last time. Please forgive me again.—Mrs. ——."
"The Lavender."—"Deer Sur,—Plese let Jon go to the lavender wen hever he wants as he as had some metson.—Yours truly, Mrs. ——."
"Res Angusta Domi."—In a village school in Devonshire the master had one morning been giving a lesson on the life of Jacob. Just as he was concluding he asked whether Jacob was rich or poor. Some stated that he was rich, while others held a contrary view. Eventually one of the lads who had stated that Jacob was poor was asked for his reason, and he replied as follows: "Please, sir, the Bible says Jacob slept with his fathers, and if he had been a rich man he would have had a bed to his-self."