For the Earl of Fitzdotterel’s eldest son.

My Lord Tomnoddy prefers the Guards

(The House is a bore), so, it’s on the cards!

My lord’s a lieutenant at twenty-three;

A captain at twenty-six is he;

He never drew sword, except on drill;

The tricks of parade he has learnt but ill;

A full-blown colonel at thirty-one

Is the Earl of Fitzdotterel’s eldest son!

My Lord Tomnoddy is thirty-four;