There’s talk of some children by nobody’s wife;

But we mustn’t look close into what is done

By the Earl of Fitzdotterel’s eldest son.

My Lord Tomnoddy must settle down—

There’s a vacant seat in the family town!

(’Tis time he should sow his eccentric oats)—

He hasn’t the wit to apply for votes:

He cannot e’en learn his election speech;

Three phrases he speaks, a mistake in each,

And then breaks down; but the borough is won