Fair Widow—“That is very unfortunate. I am afraid I cannot go, as I have another important engagement.”

Mrs. Brown—“Is it very important, ma’am? Can’t you put it off?”

Fair Widow—“Well, the truth is, I am going to be married myself.”

Mrs. Brown—“Ah, I quite understand. It doesn’t do to miss the chance of getting righted when you gets the opportunity, does it now, ma’am?”

TO A CIGARETTE—IN THE TRENCHES

I’m up to my knees in cold water,

There’s “Zeps” droppin’ bombs from the sky,

But I don’t care a jot for the whole bloomin’ lot;

I’ve got you—and my matches are dry!