AND THE TOOTUNS, TOO
First Native—“We’re doin’ fine at the war, Jarge.”
Second Native—“Yes, Jahn; and so be they Frenchies.”
First Native—“Aye; an’ so be they Belgians an’ Italyuns an’ Rooshians.”
Second Native—“Aye; an’ so be they Allys. Oi dunno where they come from, Jahn, but they be perfect fiends for fightin’.”
WAR BRIDE RETORTS
Soldier’s Unmarried Wife (who has been living with her man for eleven years, to charming and aristocratic widow, the local representative of the Soldiers’ and Sailors’ Families’ Association)—“Well, ma’am, I am going to be married next week, and I want you to come to the wedding. You’ve been so kind it would not be right without you.”
Fair Widow—“I shall be delighted to come, Mrs. Brown. What day is it?”
Mrs. Brown—“On Thursday, ma’am.”