NEW USE OF THE WORD

She—“Where have you been?”

He—“In the hospital getting censored.”

She—“Censored?”

He—“Yes; I had several important parts cut out.”

THE ORIGINAL ONE-STEP

“Did you ever go to a military ball?” asked a lisping maid of an army veteran.

“No, my dear,” growled the old soldier. “In those days I once had a military ball come to me, and what do you think? It took my leg off.”

MOTHERLY ADMONITION