“Mein Gott, it iss too much? Ain’t it enough dot I fight for der Vaterland? Now der Emperor says we should marry before leaving for der front.”
HE LOST THE COUNT
A young officer at the front wrote home to his father:
“Dear Father—Kindly send me $250 at once. Lost another leg in a stiff engagement and am in hospital without means.”
The answer was as follows:
“My dear Son—As this is the fourth leg you have lost (according to your letters), you ought to be accustomed to it by this time. Try and hobble along on any others you may have left.”
DEADLIER THAN USUAL
“I understand that all the warring nations find that women are perfectly able to make shrapnel.”
“I’ll wager they make it in their own way, however. One cupful gunpowder, one cupful nitroglycerin, a pinch of fulminate, and so on.”