REGULAR SEA DOG
A sailor belonging to one of His Majesty’s ships returned home unexpectedly.
“Why, what’s up, Jack?” asked his old father, when he saw him.
“Had to put back. Too rough,” said the Tar, jocularly.
“Too rough! Well, that’s yere modern navy, is it, with her quick-firers and torpedo-catchers? Too rough, eh? Why, Jack, my boy, I remembers when I was in the old Grampius—well, it was a gale, and it did blow. Well, it blowed so hard that the skipper gave orders to cut away the mast, and no sooner had the carpenter appeared on deck than the wind blowed the teeth clean out of his saw!”
“That’s nothing,” retorted Jack. “Only yesterday the wind happened to veer round and caught our guns end on and it blowed the breeches clean out of all of them.”
“Jack, my boy,” said the old man, “give me yer hand. Yer was cut out for the sea.”
PROFESSIONAL TREATMENT
Patient (to pretty nurse)—“Will you be my wife when I recover?”
Pretty Nurse—“Certainly.”