Patient—“Then you love me?”
Pretty Nurse—“Oh, no! That’s merely a part of my treatment. I must keep my patients cheerful. I promised this morning to run away with a married man who had lost both his legs.”
WAR NEWS IN THE PANTRY
“James!” she said, severely.
The butler looked up with a guilty flush.
“James,” she asked, “how is it that whenever I come into the pantry I find your work at sixes and sevens, and you sprawled out reading the war news?”
“Well, ma’am,” the butler answered, “I should say it was on account of them old rubber-sole shoes you’re always wearin’ about the house.”
DRAWING THE LINE
There was on Master Tommy Whiffles’s face, as he came in from play, an expression of unalloyed satisfaction. He bounced down on the one sound spring of the sofa with a sigh so indicative of profound content that his father was instantly filled with misgivings.