MISSED SOMETHING
Green was a raw recruit, and in his ignorance of the ways of the army had committed some slight offense. When brought before the colonel, that worthy was pleased to let him off with only a sharp admonition. The facts of the case appeared in the regimental orders, and when Green read the account he rushed off to his sergeant breathless with indignation.
“Why, sergeant, it says in the orders that I was ‘discharged with an admonition,’” he complained. “An’ all I got was a good wiggin’. Some other fellow ’as been and kept that admonition and means to do me out of it. Now, I wants to know what it is, for I mean to have it. I don’t mean to be cheated out of anything!”
HIS MEANING IS PLAIN
The wounded Irish soldier was relating his adventures to the inquisitive old lady visitor.
“Afther we captured th’ hill, mum,” he said, “we hild it fur a whoile, but was evintually forced to retrate by th’ weight av numbers.”
“And were there many dead left on the hill?” she asked, anxiously.
“Dead!” he echoed. “Whoi, the whole hillsoide was simply aloive wid thim!”