WARNED IN TWENTY YEARS
Several Scotchmen were discussing the domestic unhappiness of a mutual friend.
"Aye," said one, "Jock McDonald has a sair time wi' that wife o' his.
They do say they're aye quarrelin'."
"It serve' him richt," said another feelingly. "The puir feckless creature marrit after coortin' only eight year. Man, indeed, he had nae chance to ken the wumman in sic a short time. When I was coortin' I was coortin' twenty year."
"And how did it turn out?" inquired a stranger in the party.
"I tell ye, I was coortin' twenty year, an' in that time I kenned what wumman was, an' so I didna marry."
BEGINNING EARLY
Jack disliked being kissed, and, being a handsome little chap, sometimes had a good deal to put up with. One day he had been kissed a lot. Then, to make matters worse, on going to the picture palace in the evening, instead of his favorite cowboy and Indian pictures, there was nothing but a lot more hugging and kissing.
He returned home completely out of patience with the whole tribe of women.
After he had tucked into bed mother came in to kiss him good-night.