"'I don't deserve this medal. I did nothing but my duty. I saw our friend here struggling in the water. I knew he must drown unless someone saved him. So I plunged in, swam out to him, turned him over to make sure it wasn't Lloyd George, and then lugged him to safety on my back.'"
TAKING NO CHANCES
A big darky was being registered.
"Ah can't go to wah," he answered in re exemption, "foh they ain't nobody to look afteh ma wife."
A dapper little undersized colored brother stepped briskly up and inquired, "What kind of a lookin' lady is yoh wife?"
TOO PERSONAL
Upon the recent death of an American politician, who at one time served his country in a very high legislative place, a number of newspaper men were collaborating on an obituary notice.
"What shall we say of the former senator?" asked one of the men.
"Oh, just put down that he was always faithful to his trust."
"And," queried a cynical member of the group, "shall we mention the name of the trust?"