965. On the Scotch circuits, the judges gave dinners, having an allowance for that purpose. The great Lord Kames was extremely parsimonious; and, at a circuit dinner at Perth, did not allow claret, as had been the custom. The conversation turned on Sir Charles Hardy’s fleet, which was then blockaded by the French; and one of the company asked what had become of our fleet. Mr. Henry Erskine answered, Confined, like us, to port.
966. M. Lalande, the French astronomer, during the whole time of the revolution, confined himself to the study of that science. When he found that he had escaped the fury of Robespierre, he jocosely said, I may thank my stars for it.
967. After Dr. Johnson had been honoured with an interview with the king, in the queen’s library at Buckingham House, he was interrogated by a friend concerning his reception, and his opinion of the royal intellect. His majesty, replied the doctor, seems to be possessed of much good-nature and much curiosity, and is far from contemptible. His majesty, indeed, was multifarious in his questions, but he answered them all himself.
968. A common councilman was hoaxed into an opinion, that, as a representative of the citizens, he was entitled to ride through the turnpikes free of expense. He next day mounted his nag, to ascertain his civic privileges; and asked at the turnpike at the Dog-row, in Mile-end road, if, as a common councilman, he had not a right to pass without payment? Yes, replied the turnpike man archly, you may pass yourself, but you must pay for your horse.
969. There was a lady of the west country, that gave a great entertainment at her house, to most of the gallant gentlemen thereabout, and, among others, Sir Walter Raleigh. This lady, though otherwise a stately dame, was a notable good housewife; and in the morning betimes she called to one of her maids that looked to the swine, and asked, Are the pigs served? Sir Walter Raleigh’s chamber was close to the lady’s. Before dinner the lady came down in great state into the assembling-room, which was full of gentlemen, and as soon as Sir Walter cast his eyes upon her, Madam, are the pigs served? The lady answered, You know best whether you have had your breakfast.
970. Joseph II. Emperor of Germany, travelling in his usual way, without his retinue, attended by only a single aide-de-camp, arrived very late at the house of an Englishman, who kept an inn in the Netherlands. It being fair time, and the house rather crowded, the host, ignorant of his guest’s quality, appointed them to sleep in an out-house, which they readily complied with; and, after eating a few slices of ham and biscuit, retired to rest, and in the morning paid their bill, which amounted to only 3s. 6d. English, and rode off. A few hours afterwards, several of his suite coming to inquire after him, and the publican understanding the rank of his guest, appeared very uneasy. Psha! psha! man, said one of the attendants, Joseph is accustomed to such adventures, and will think no more of it. But I shall, replied the landlord; for I can never forget the circumstance, nor forgive myself neither, for having had an emperor in my house, and letting him off for 3s. 6d.
971. Some years ago, says Richardson, in his Anecdotes of Painting, a gentleman came to me to invite me to his house: I have, said he, a picture of Rubens, and it is a rare good one. There is little H. the other day came to see it, and said it was a copy. If any one says so again, I’ll break his head. Pray, Mr. Richardson, will you do me the favour to come, and give me your real opinion of it?
972. A chimney-sweep having descended a wrong chimney, made his sudden appearance in a room where two men, one named Butler and the other Cook, were enjoying themselves over a pot of beer. How now, cried the former, what news from the other world? The sweep perceiving his mistake, and recollecting the persons, very smartly replied, I came to inform you that we are very much in want of a Butler and Cook.
973. One of the Dover stages, on its way to London, was stopped by a single highwayman, who was informed by the coachman there were no inside passengers, and only one in the basket, and he was a sailor. The robber then proceeded to exercise his employment on the tar; when waking him out of his sleep Jack demanded what he wanted; to which the son of plunder replied, Your money. You shan’t have it, said Jack. No! replied the robber, then I’ll blow your brains out. Blow away then, you land-lubber, cried Jack, squirting the tobacco-juice out of his mouth, I may as well go to London without brains as without money; drive on, coachman.
974. After a loud preface of O yes, pronounced most audibly three times, in the High Street, Newmarket, the late Lord Barrymore, having collected a number of persons together, made the following general proposal to the gapers, Who wants to buy a horse that can walk five miles an hour, trot sixteen, and gallop twenty? I do, said a gentleman, with manifest eagerness. Then, replied Lord Barrymore, If I see any such animal to be sold, I will be sure to let you know.