1059. A student of St. John’s College, who was remarkable for his larks and eccentricities, during the time he was dining in hall, called to a bon vivant, at another table, to say, that he had got a fine fox in his rooms, for him. This being overheard by the marker, who was a kind of mongrel fetch-and-carry to a certain dean, and who understood the student in a literal sense, he informed the dean of the circumstance. The student was very soon summoned before the master and seniors, for what he knew not; however, on entering, he was informed, they had learned he kept a fox in his rooms, a thing not to be tolerated by the college. It is very true, replied the accused; I have a bust of Charles James Fox, at your service.
1060. When the celebrated Beau Nash was ill, Dr. Cheyne wrote a prescription for him. The next day, the doctor coming to see his patient, inquired if he had followed his prescription? No, truly, doctor, replied Nash, if I had I should have broken my neck, for I threw it out of a two pair of stairs window.
1061. The son of a fond father, when going to war, promised to bring home the head of one of the enemy. His parent replied, I should be glad to see you come home without a head, provided you come safe.
1062. Dr. Cheyne, of Bath, and a Mr. Santly, were deemed the two fattest men in Somersetshire. When they were once sitting together after dinner, Cheyne asked the other what made him look so melancholy? Faith, replied he, I was thinking how it will be possible for the people to get either you or me to the grave after we die. Why, as to me, replied Cheyne, six or eight stout fellows will do the business, but you must be taken at twice.
1063. A spark being brought before a magistrate, on a charge of horse-stealing, the justice, the moment he saw him, exclaimed, I see a villain in your countenance. It is the first time, said the prisoner, very coolly, that I knew my countenance was a looking-glass.
1064. A jockey lord met his old college tutor at a great horse fair. Ah! doctor, exclaimed his lordship, what brings you here, among these high bred cattle? Do you think you can distinguish a horse from an ass? My lord, replied the tutor, I soon perceived you among these horses.
1065. A French officer was speaking at a table-d’hote of his first impressions on seeing English soldiers, and attempted to ridicule them, by saying, that they had faces as round as Cheshire cheeses. An English officer replied, Monsieur, you are very polite; and allow me to say, that if your soldiers had shown us a little more of their faces, and less of their backs, I should be very happy to return you the compliment.
1066. The late Right Hon. Charles James Fox, in the course of a speech he made in the House of Commons, when enlarging on the influence exercised by government over the members, observed, that it was generally understood that the minister employed a person as manager of the House of Commons; here there was a general cry of Name him! name him! No, said Mr. Fox, I don’t choose to name him, though I might do it as easy as say Jack Robinson. This was really his name.
1067. A traveller relating some of his adventures, told the company, that he and his servant made fifty wild Arabians run; which exciting surprise, he observed there was no such great matter in it; for, said he, we ran, and they ran after us.
1068. A certain young clergyman, modest almost to bashfulness, was once asked by a country apothecary, of a contrary character, in a public and crowded assembly, and in a tone of voice sufficient to catch the attention of the whole company, How it happened that the patriarchs lived to such extreme old age? To which question he immediately replied, Perhaps they took no physic.