1150. The late Dr. Stukely says, that one day, by appointment, visiting Sir Isaac Newton, the servant told him he was in his study. No one was permitted to disturb him there, but as it was near dinner-time, the visitor sat down to wait for him. After a time, dinner was brought in—a boiled chicken under a cover. An hour passed, and Sir Isaac did not appear. The doctor ate the fowl, and covering up the empty dish, bid them dress their master another. Before that was ready, the great man came down; apologized for his delay, and added, Give me but leave to take my short dinner, and I shall be at your service; I am fatigued and faint. Saying this, he lifted up the cover, and without any emotion, turned about to Stukely with a smile: See, said he, what we studious people are: I forgot I had dined.
1151. Leveridge, the actor, in giving out the play, made a small mistake, and instead of saying on Monday next will be performed, he addressed the audience with—Ladies and gentlemen, to-morrow will be performed—To-morrow? said a buck from the pit, why to-morrow is Sunday! I know it, my good friend, replied Leveridge;—to-morrow there will be a charity sermon preached at St. Paul’s, Covent Garden, and, on Monday, at this theatre, will be presented the Recruiting Officer, with a farce called Wit at a Pinch. This turned the laugh of the audience, and he went off with an unusual plaudit.
1152. Derrick one day sent his footboy with a message to a gentleman whose name was Mr. Hodges Podger. The boy went to the street, as directed, but not being able, at once, to find the house, he knocked at another person’s door, and mistaking the name, asked if Mr. Hodge-podge was at home. Hodge-podge! said the servant maid, why, you little puppy, does this house look like a cookshop?
1153. Some ladies in the long room at Bath observing that Mr. Derrick was exceedingly gay, a smart fellow thought to exercise his wit, by asking him who was his tailor? Oh, sir, replied Derrick, he won’t do for you, he deals only for ready money.
1154. A conceited fellow presented King James with a manuscript, who, finding it exceeding bad, returned it, and bade him put it into rhyme. The fellow set to work, despatched it, and presented it anew to his Majesty, who, laughing, said, It was better now he had put into rhyme, “for, by my soul, man, afore ’twas neither rhyme nor reason.”
1155. What herb is it that cures all diseases? Thyme [time] to be sure.
1156. An upholder was chiding his apprentice because he was not notable enough at his work, and had not his nails and hammer in readiness when he should use them, telling him, when he was an apprentice he was taught to have his nails at his fingers’ ends.
1157. One hearing a great noise, sent his servant to know what was the matter, who brought him back word, One had taken a cup too much—meaning that he had stolen a silver tankard.
1158. A fortune-hunter at Bath, telling Mr. Derrick that he had got an excellent phaeton on the new plan, Derrick answered, I am rather of opinion you got it on the old plan, for I suppose you never mean to pay for it.