"Dad, what's a social scale?"
"Well, generally speaking old man, it's a place where money is weighed."
REGULAR CUSTOMER—"I shall want a large quantity of flowers from you next week for my daughter's coming out."
FLOWER WOMAN—"Yes, mum. You shall 'ave the very best for 'er, pore dear. Wot were she put in for?"—Punch.
WILLIS—"What makes you think it is easier for a rich man to land in Society than for an immigrant to land in America?"
GILLIS—"In the former case the literacy test isn't as strict."
AUNT—"You'll be late for the party, won't you, dear?"