A vast and determined-looking woman wore a very large hat one evening at the theater.
"Madam," said the attendant politely, "I must request you to remove your hat. It is annoying this gentleman behind you."
The massive lady turned and haughtily surveyed the complainant. "Do you mean that little weedy, undersized creature?" she asked.
"This gentleman behind you," the attendant corrected her.
The lady settled herself down in her place. "You will find it easier and pleasanter," she said, decisively, "to remove him!"
A Clergyman once wrote to Edwin Booth, the famous tragedian, asking if he might be admitted to Booth's theater by a private door, because, though he very much wished to see Booth act, he didn't like the idea of being seen entering a theater. Booth wrote back, "Sir, there is no door into my theater through which God can not see."
AUNT MARY (visiting in the city)—"I want to hear at least one of your famous grand-opera singers and then see some of your leading actors."
NEPHEW (to office boy)—"Jimmy, get us some tickets for the vaudeville and movies."—Life.