"This is a very sad case, very sad indeed," said the doctor. "I much regret to tell you that your wife's mind is gone—completely gone."
"I am not a bit surprised" answered the husband. "She has been giving me a piece of it every day for the last fifteen years."
A sheik was speaking to a crowd of men in a mosque and said, "All of you who are afraid of your wives stand up." All stood up except one man. Afterwards the sheik went to this man and said, "Evidently you are not afraid of your wife." The man responded: "She gave me such a beating this morning that I was too lame to stand up."
A well-to-do Scottish woman one day said to her gardener:
"Man Tammas, I wonder you don't get married. You've a nice house, and all you want to complete it is a wife. You know the first gardener that ever lived had a wife."
"Quite right, missus, quite right," said Thomas, "but he didna keep his job long after he gat the wife."