A lady was sitting in the garden with the family stocking basket beside her, and was examining the holes in her little boy's socks, when the old gardener came by with his wheelbarrow. "What beats me," he remarked, "is you ladies. Always lookin' for what you don't want to find!"
"Hello! Is this a party wire?"
"My dear sir, it's worse. It's a woman's party wire."
A red-haired, freckle-faced boy of fourteen, weighed down with the responsibility of his first essay, walked into a city library the other day. He approached the reference librarian rather timidly, standing on one foot, then on the other, and finally said:
"Say, boss, I've gotta write an essay on 'Woman.' Where'll I begin?"
"I was outspoken in my sentiments at the club today," said Mrs. Garrulous to her husband the other evening. With a look of astonishment he replied:
"I can't believe it, my dear. Who outspoke you?"