"Two for a quarter."
"How much for vun?"
"Fifteen cents."
"Giff me de odder vun."
"Ikey," said the teacher, "can you give me a definition for 'a bargain'?"
"Sure I can," smiled Ikey. "A bargain's when you get the best of them."
Dad was not greatly pleased by the school report brought to him by his hopeful.
"How is it?" he demanded, "that you stand so much lower in your studies for the month of January than for December?"
Samuel was equal to the emergency. "Why, dad," said he, in an injured tone, "don't you know that everything is marked down after the holidays?"