SURGEON—"It has been my rule all along never to perform an operation unless I was sure it would be a success either way."
A doctor who had a custom of cultivating the lawn and walk in front of his home every spring engaged O'Brien to do the job. He went away for three days and when he returned found O'Brien waiting for his money. The doctor was not satisfied with his work and said: "O'Brien, the walk is covered with gravel and dirt, and in my estimation it's a bad job."
O'Brien looked at him in surprise for a moment and replied: "Shure, Doc, there's many a bad job of yours covered with gravel and dirt."
"You say this doctor has a large practice?"
"It's so large that when a patient has nothing the matter with him he tells him so."
Why She Objected
An old woman's son was seriously ill and the attending surgeon advised an operation. But the mother bitterly objected.