A Sunday-school teacher was quizzing her class of boys on the strength of their desire for righteousness.
"All those who wish to go to heaven," she said, "please stand."
All got to their feet but one small boy.
"Why, Johnny," exclaimed the shocked teacher, "do you mean to say that you don't want to go to heaven?"
"No, ma'am," replied Johnny promptly. "Not if that bunch is going."
THE COOK—"Sir! Sir! There's a Zep'lin outside and if you don't come wi' the keys of the cellar, we'll all be in—in—heaven in a couple o' minutes!"
THE CURATE—"God forbid!"
One of the prominent deacons in an Ohio church was seriously ill. As he was very popular among the congregation, a bulletin board was posted in front of the church to inform of his condition. It read: