SHE—"I wonder why men lie so?"
HE—"Because their wives are so inquisitive."
HUBBY—"I don't believe in parading my virtues."
WIFE—"You couldn't, anyway. It takes quite a number to make a parade."
"Why do you feed every tramp who comes along? They never do any work for you."
"No," said his wife, "but it is quite a satisfaction to me to see a man eat a meal without finding fault with the cooking."