The husband arrived home much later than usual "from the office." He took off his boots and stole into the bedroom. His wife began to stir. Quickly the panic-stricken man went to the cradle of his first-born and began to rock it vigorously.
"What are you doing there, Robert?" queried his wife.
"I've been sitting here for nearly two hours trying to get this baby to sleep," he growled.
"Why, Robert, I've got him here in bed with me," replied his wife.
A teacher was trying to explain the dangers of overwork to one of the smaller pupils.
"Now, Tommy," she pursued, "if your father were busy all day and said he would have to go back to the office at night, what would he be doing?"
"That's what ma wants to know."
HE—"If I were to die you'd never get another husband like me."