SHE—"What makes you imagine I should ever want another like you?"
MRS. BLANK (to laundress)—"And how is your newly married daughter getting on, Mrs. Brown?"
MRS. BROWN—"Oh, nicely, thank you, ma'am. She finds her husband a bit dull; but then, as I tells her, the good ones are dull."
JUNKMAN—"Any rags, paper, old iron to sell?"
HEAD OF HOUSE (irately)—"No—go away—my wife's away for the summer."
JUNKMAN (smiling)—"Any empty bottles?"
Situation: Buglar, caught red-handed, arraigned in court