"Then I wouldn't have the heart to deprive you of it."—Life.
THE SUITOR—"I hope, sir, that you will consider me in the nature of an investment, even if I may not pay regular dividends."
THE GIRL'S FATHER—"My dear boy, don't talk of dividends. I shall be glad if you don't levy regular assessments on me."—Life.
TOMMY—"Father, what's the future of the verb 'invest'?"
FATHER (a Congressman)—"Investigation."
IRELAND
We have all heard of the "far flung" British Empire. The only trouble with it is that Ireland was not flung far enough.