MIKE—"How is that, Pat?"
PAT—"It is this siven-cint fare. I hev bin walkin' to and from me work and savin' tin cints, and now I kin save fourteen cints."
An Irishman asked at the railway station for a ticket to Philadelphia.
"Do you want a ticket one way or one that will take you there and back?"
The Irishman looked at him suspiciously for a moment, then said: "What the devil do I want a ticket there an' back for when I'm here already?"
An Irish mother reproving her son exclaimed, "I just wish that your father was at home some evening to see how you behave yourself when he is out!"
A tourist reports seeing the following police regulation posted up in Ireland: