FRIENDLY CONSTABLE—"Come, come, sir, pull yourself together; your wife's calling you."

CONVIVIAL GENT—"Wha' she call-calling me; Billy or William?"

CONSTABLE—"William, sir."

CONVIVIAL GENT—"Then I'm not going home."


HUSBAND (angrily)—"What! no supper ready? This is the limit! I'm going to a restaurant."

WIFE—"Wait just five minutes."

HUSBAND—"Will it be ready then?"

WIFE—"No, but then I'll go with you."