"Is your wife's mother enjoying her trip to the mountains?" "I'm afraid not. She's found something at last that she can't walk over."
MOVING PICTURES
A recent movie comedy showed on the screen a bevy of shapely girls disrobing for a plunge in the "old swimming-pool." They had just taken off shoes, hats, coats and were beginning on—a passing freight-train dashed across the screen and obscured the view. When it had passed, the girls were frolicking in the water.
An old railroader sat through the show again and again. At length an usher tapped him on the shoulder.
"Aren't you ever going home?" he asked.
"Oh, I'll wait a while," was the answer. "One of these times that train's going to be late."
"Didn't anybody criticise you for filming an automobile in ancient Babylon?"
"No. But I had a dozen letters calling my attention to the fact that the car showed a California license tag."