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THINGS ONE WOULD RATHER HAVE LEFT UNSAID

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Enter Mr. Chesterfield Grandison Potts. “How d’ye do, my dear Mrs. Pettifer? I’ve come to congratulate you on your performance of the Lady of Lyons, at Mrs. Tomkyns’s. It was simply perfect!”

Distinguished Lady Amateur. “Oh, far from perfect, I fear! To be perfect, alas! the part of Pauline requires that one should be young and lovely, you know!”

Mr. C. G. Potts (who piques himself on his old-fashioned courtesy). “My dear lady, you are a living proof to the contrary!”