[The Scottish Education Department, not satisfied with the pronunciation in vogue beyond the Tweed, has appointed a Liverpool gentleman to instruct the teachers of Scot’and how to speak polite English.]
A plague on yon Depairtment, Jeames!
It maun be aye appearin’
Wi’ sic a host o’ daft-like schemes,
Forever interferin’.
’Tis past a joke when feckless fouk
Awa’ in Lunnon ettle
Wi’ a’ this fuss tae talk tae us,
The Schule Board o’ Kingskettle.
I’ll tell ye hoo it comes tae pass—