Economical Drover. “A teeck’t tae Faa’kirk.”

Polite Clerk. “Five-and-ninepence, please.”

Drover. “Ah’ll gie ye five shillings!”

Clerk (astonished).. “Eh!”

Drover. “Weel, ah’ll gie ye five-an’-thrippence, an’ deil a bawbee mair! Is’t a bargain?!”

UNCOMPROMISING

The Doctor’s Daughter. “I declare you’re a dreadful fanatic, Mrs. McCizzom. I do believe you think nobody will be saved but you and your minister!”

Old Lady. “Aweel, my dear, ah whiles hae ma doobts aboot the meenister!”