announs that none other dezervz popularity;

state that ther’z everything exsellent in it,

that its writerz’ attain an astounding selerity—

nine hundred and ninety-nine wordz in a minit!

Next kritisize Pitman in languaje sensorious;

deklare that hiz sistem’z playd out and effete,

that your own method’z quickly bekuming viktorious,

and wil soon make Phonography take a back seat.

What tho your outlinez be shocking monstrositiz,

useles, exsept az sublime kuriositiz;