Waiter—"Yes, sir, I suppose it was hatched from a hardboiled egg!"
"About the only time my tailor gives his customers regular fit," said Buttons, "is when they neglect to pay their bills."
A man with the heart disease is about the only chap who desires a "regular beat" for a bosom friend.
The landlord came to Mrs. O'Hooligan on the first day of May last, and said: "See here, my foine loidy, I am going to raise your rent." "Oh thanks be to the Lord," said Mrs. O'Hooligan, "I'm so glad that you intend to raise it for me as Dan aint' working and I'm nather able nor willing to raise it myself."
He—The bride looks radiant, as brides usually do.
She—Yes, but the bridegroom appears rather run down.