Moses Schaumburg (to his son Jackey)—"How many are twice two, Jackey?"

Jackey-"Tervice two ish six."

"You are wrong, Jackey. Six vas too mooch."

"Don't I know dot, fadder, already some times ago. But I shoot said six so dot you could Chew me down."


'Tis now the wily urchin mocks
The lynx-eyed cop along the docks,
And plunges in the cooling tide,
Arrayed in naught else but his hide.


Everybody knows a woman is hard to please. She likes the matrimonial harness, but doesn't like to be hitched up with a man who is strapped.