Smith—Most things that are bought go to the buyer.
Jones—Yes, all except coal; that goes to the cellar.
An Irishman, having gone out in his night-gown on a bitter cold night to stop the howling of a dog, was found by his wife, almost paralyzed with cold, holding the struggling dog by the tail. "Howley Mother, Pat," says she, "what would ye be afther doin?"
"Hush," said Pat, "don't ye see O'im trying to fraze the baste?"
"Another tragedy," said the cynic, as shrill shrieks arose from the ruined cistern. "I suppose there is a woman at the bottom of it."
"What do you think? My sister is married."
"Well for Goodness sake! who married her?"