Agnes—My right cheek burns so; what can I do to stop it?

Lucy—Tell Jack to shave oftener.


Sam Short was so fond of Welsh rare-bit
That his taste led him into the hare-bit
Of spending his days
Near the doors of cafeys,
And when he would see one he'd grare-bit.


How is that; you weren't drowned last week when you fell overboard, you can't swim?

No, I had on a pair of duck pants.


Doctors are like cockroaches. When you once get them into the house, it is terribly difficult to get them out again.