"Charley, dear," said young Mrs. Torkins, "I hope you are not going into politics."
"What made you think of that?"
"I heard you talking in your sleep about 'standing pat.'"
A man and his bride by the parson were tied,
And when the performance was done,
"Alas!" exclaimed he, examining his fee,
"I add one to one and make one."
Mistress (to cook who has fallen down stairs)—I hope that you did not hurt yourself, Mary?
Mary—Oh, no, ma'am; Oi overtook meself at the bottom.