Judge—You are charged with profanity.
Prisoner—I am not.
Judge—You are, sir. What do you mean?
Prisoner—I was, but I got rid of it.
"I hate a liar," Wiggins cried,
Said Jiggins, "Then 'twould seem
You really ought to try and hide
Your lack of self-esteem."
"Kind lady," remarked the weary wayfarer, "can you oblige me with something to eat?"
"Go to the woodshed and take a few chops," replied the kind lady.