Lady—Why do you remove your sword, Lieutenant?
Gallant Officer—My lovely miss, the fire from those eyes would compel the bravest soldier to surrender his arms.
She—"You used to call me the light of your life."
He—"Ah, but I had no idea then how much it would cost to keep it burning."
Moses—"How did you make your money, Ike?"
Ike—"By horse-razing."
Moses—"Vatt, not bedding?"