"What a distinguished looking man."

"Yes, the last time I saw him he was on the bench."

"What, a judge?"

"No; a substitute ball-player."


He—"Didn't you promise to love, honor and obey me?"

She—"Heaven only knows what I promised. I was listening to hear what you promised."


Thin Boarder—"I don't see how you manage to fare so well at this boarding-house. I have industriously courted the landlady and all her daughters, but I'm half-starved."

Fat Boarder—"I court the cook."