Tramp—"Can't you give a poor man something to eat? I got shot in the war and can't work."
Woman-"Where was you shot?"
"In the spinal column, mum."
"Go 'way! There was no such battle."
"I suppose Barnum went to heaven when he died?"
"Well, he certainly had a good chance. In fact he had the greatest show on earth."
"Why do all bank cashiers run to Canada?"