Jones—That's nothing. I've often seen a lobster do that.
"Why do you call him 'Mr. Gimlet?' That isn't his name."
"I know. But he's such a bore!"
American—"You have noticed, I suppose, that the balance of trade, so far as your country and ours are concerned, is still in our favor?"
Englishman—"Nothing of the sort, sir. We exchange a worn-out title for a beautiful American heiress almost every day in the year."
Husband—"I am going to buy two little children."
Wife—"Where in the world can you buy them?"