"An Irishman comes to this country, remains here ten years, and goes back to Ireland and dies. What is he?"
"Why, an Irishman, of course."
"No, you're wrong; he is a corpse."
He—Why has he put her picture in his watch?
She—Because he thinks she will love him in time.
"I saw some delicious apples growing on a tree this morning. I couldn't reach them, and asked the lady of the house if she would let me take a step-ladder."
"Did she give it to you?"