An Irish doctor advertises that the deaf may hear of him at a house in Liffey street, where his blind patients may see him from ten till three.
"Where are you going, my pretty maid?"
"Out automobiling, sir," she said.
"May I go with you, my pretty maid?"
"If you can steer the old thing, you may," she said.
A painter, who fell off a scaffold with a pot of paint in each hand said: "well, I came down with flying colors, anyhow."
—"I'm very sorry for that boy. Your scolding cut him to the quick."